Mamas, I am so happy to share with you all this amazing post from Annie, her story is one that many of us can relate to and lets us know that we are not alone. The struggle that her and her husband are currently going thru is truly hard, but they have managed to turn this into a positive. Finding ways to get closer to each other.
I am linking her blog and social media sites below, go show her some love! <3
My name is Annie. I’m a mid 20’s wife and soon-to-be first time momma. My blog, Grown Up Glamour, features pieces from me (and other resilient women) as I attempt to find balance in my grown up life. When I’m not working at my desk job, I can be found lounging on a cottage dock, scrambling my feelings across a page, or dragging my husband, dog and now baby-belly on a spontaneous adventure. It is my hope in my writing to inspire, empower and help other women find joy and peace within themselves and their lives. When women support one another, incredible things can happen.
My husband David and I were just out of university when we first met – our first “date” was a night bowling with friends. We married four years later.
Shortly before I met my husband I was diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS). PCOS is a hormonal imbalance which can lead to difficulty when trying to conceive. Although I had come to accept my diagnosis, I was unsure my future husband may be open to the challenge – especially if he wanted children. To be diligent, I shared my diagnosis with my husband early on in our relationship. One one think to bring up children within weeks of knowing a man would quickly drive him away, however, David advised me he would be up for the challenge and would love to adopt children one day. He’s had me hooked since then.
The week after our wedding we met with our doctor for a pre-conception consultation and were advised that we would most likely need to meet with a fertility specialist in six months should we not be pregnant. My doctor recommended we don’t “drag on the disappointment” for longer than that.
We were pregnant within a month.
It took some time for the realism of my pregnancy to sink in. My husband and I had prepared ourselves for a worst case scenario, and life took an unexpected turn providing us with a wonderful surprise.
Our 12 week ultrasound was when the pregnancy officially hit me. We got to see our little one wiggling around and I immediately fell in love. My husband and I were overjoyed and shared the news with all of our friends and family.
Two days later our world came crashing down when we were told our child had an indicator for Downs Syndrome. For the last 3 weeks we’ve been going through the ups and downs of genetic testing. Our baby’s DNA testing came back low risk for Downs Syndrome, only to find out our baby had some fluid build up in it’s brain and we would now require further testing.
Unlike my husband, I was initially against genetic testing. My Roman Catholic upbringing placed strong values within me that I never thought I would be able to break. However, when it came to the health, safety and well-being of my child, I quickly became convinced that genetic testing was an important step in pregnancy. I never thought I may become a statistic.
In a moment when we are both so vulnerable, scared and heartbroken, we have grown closer together. We are both experiencing a wound that only each other can understand. This baby was created through the love of my husband and I, and we are relying on our love to get us through this incredibly difficult time.
While I am optimistic about the results from our next round of testing, my heart also aches for what could be. My husband, my true rock, is only allowing me to see his optimism.
When I reflect back on those early days when I first shared my PCOS with a cute boy named David, it is now clear to me how much I needed this man in my life. There is not one person I have encountered that has been so kind, understanding and compassionate to my feelings. There is not one other person that I think I could survive a moment like this with.
It’s often too easy to reflect sadness in the form of anger. It’s easy to become short tempered (our dishes have barely been getting done between all of our doctors appointments), frustrated (I’ve entered a bit of a depression and at times have a hard time coping) or caught up in your own emotions in times like this. Instead, we have talked. My goodness have we talked – more than I think we have ever talked before, and we have opened a healthy line of communication to talk about things we never thought we would ever have to talk about. It has brought us closer. It has strengthened our love. And it has shown us, no matter what life throws at us, we can handle this parenting thing. It may be with some additional tears, it may be with some additional fears – but we got this.